


Following the Script

by Neverever



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Costumes, Crossdressing, Fluff, M/M, Manipulation, Mojoworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 14:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11210376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: Steve and the rest of the Avengers are coerced into filming a television show for Mojo. Except they are expected to follow the script and Steve is not sure he can.





	Following the Script

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Avengers Assemble Season 4 Countdown.
> 
> The story is set early-ish Avengers Assemble canon and was inspired by the Mojo World episode from season 1.
> 
> Big thanks to my beta, Arms_Plutonic.

“Look, I’m serious – Hulk and I were kidnapped by aliens and forced to fight in some sort of Mad Max Thunderdome arena for an intergalactic television show,” Clint stated for the fifth time. “I can’t be any clearer than that.” 

Steve was having breakfast with Clint, Natasha, and Tony. He looked over at Tony, who was tethered to the present reality only by the large coffee in his hands. He had been up for the past thirty-six hours with some critical, must-get-done yesterday projects. Worried, Steve nudged some toast over to Tony. 

“Seriously? An entire alien world dedicated to reality television shows?” Tony replied. 

“What is reality television?” Steve asked.

“You know – shows with people on islands or living in the same house. That kind of stuff,” Clint said. “You have to have seen that crap, Steve.”

Steve frowned. The day job with the Avengers and consulting with SHIELD didn’t leave him much free time. And what time he did have he spent on painting and the odd art class he managed to fit in. So if it wasn’t on the list of stuff Steve had to know about as part of his ongoing catch-up-to-the-present project, he hadn’t watched it. He offered Tony more bacon.

“It’s the idea that other species would love reality tv I find hard to believe,” Tony continued. He speared a bacon strip off Steve’s plate.

Clint stretched and yawned. “Mojo seems to be the intergalactic fight promoter, with a big helping of the usual corruption and gaming the system. I asked around and Mojo has his hand in lots of types of shows.”

“We sent him back to where he belongs,” Natasha said. “I don’t think we’ll be hearing from him again.”

“He’s a vindictive bastard who lives for ratings. We’ll hear from him,” Clint replied darkly.

~~~~~

Steve got back to the Tower after a long, trying afternoon at SHIELD. He put his motorcycle helmet on the kitchen counter. 

“Hey, you’re wearing the helmet,” Sam said from the table.

He’d really prefer not to wear one, but Tony’s PR people were horrified at the idea of Captain America setting a bad example for children. Sometimes being Captain America took too much out of Steve. 

“How was SHIELD?” Natasha asked. She was sitting next to Sam as they answered fan mail. 

Then Tony ran into the kitchen, in a wrecked Iron Man suit, chanting “hot, hot, hot” on his way to the refrigerator. He looked like he had gone a few rounds with the Cabal all on his own. 

Steve narrowed his eyes as Tony pushed past them. “Tony, what’s --”

Tony guzzled a large Gatorade. He wiped his mouth and gasped. “Hiya, Cap and Tasha.”

Steve took a deep breath. “Tony -- what happened?” 

“Yeah, you look like a scratch and dent sale escapee,” Clint said from the doorway.

“Um, minor miscalculation. I can fix it -- no biggie,” Tony replied. He pushed sweat-drenched hair back from his forehead. “Ow,” he said.

Steve looked Tony and the armor over carefully. “Let’s get that off you before you get burned.” He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

Tony arched an eyebrow and grinned. Steve froze as he realized how that sounded. He thought Tony was a terrific person and he loved sketching him. But he hadn’t thought much beyond that. Except Tony had a wonderful smile and he liked talking to him -- 

“Friends -- there’s an alien in a hoverchair outside the Tower,” Thor yelled from the living room. 

Clint whipped around. “We know about aliens in hoverchairs. I told you he was coming back. Where’s my bow?”

~~~~~

As he woke up, Steve felt groggy and achy. Then he cracked his eyes open. As far as he could tell he was in a holding room with most of the team, and an angry Clint. Tony and Natasha were missing. The room felt like a cell even though there were no bars.

“I can’t believe I have to do this again!” Clint groaned. “Once, just once, was enough.”

Steve shook his head clear. He assessed their situation -- no one hurt, but they were all unarmed. Thor was checking on Hulk, who seemed sedated. He couldn’t hear anything outside the room and the armored door was flush to the wall. “Is this familiar, Clint?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm.” Steve tested the door for any possible weaknesses. 

There was a small electronic hum and a screen emerged on one wall. “Greetings, Avengers! I have a deal for you today!” Mojo announced as he appeared on the screen. “I can make you stars and we will all make a lot of money.”

“Not interested!” shouted Clint.

“Where is the rest of our team?” Steve demanded. 

Mojo waved his hand. “They are being offered the same deal you are. I am filming some shows as fill-ins while my arena is being rebuilt and my people recruit new fighters.”

“We’d like to go home, thank you,” Steve replied.

“Earth has plenty of actors if that’s what you’re looking for,” Sam offered.

“But none as good as the Avengers -- just indulge an old man trying to rebuild his business. I need only a little bit of your time.”

Steve could all but hear Clint roll his eyes. “We’re not interested.”

“Before you say no -- you should consider the plight of your other teammates.” The screen blinked to black.

Steve felt a spike of fear. Natasha could handle nearly anything. But Tony -- he wasn’t sure if Tony had been injured in whatever happened in the workshop and then there was the arc reactor. They would need a plan.

~~~~~

Steve and his handful of Avengers cooled their heels for a few hours before they heard from Mojo. Guards brought them to a lavish room with couches, rugs and tables full of food, with windows that overlooked the reconstruction of Mojo’s arena. Hulk bounded over to the tables, eager to refuel. 

“This is new,” Clint muttered. 

Steve felt paralyzed. He was ready to fight his way to freedom, but there was nothing to fight here. The guards had withdrawn. They were likely posted outside the door in case the Avengers made a break for it. All he was left with was an unsettled feeling in his bones and a wariness of what could happen next.

He jumped when the door opened for Natasha and Tony. Tony was now clad in a red and gold dress and intricate tiara. Steve exchanged a look with Natasha. 

She replied, “It was either him or me in the dress.”

“I’m working on the regal part,” Tony said. “I hate these shoes -- they don’t do anything for the outfit. But otherwise, I could get used to the royal life.” 

“Okaaayyyy,” Clint said. “So what’s the deal?”

“Mojo wants us to star in a film about a space princess in distress. Tony is the princess, as you see. You all are his loyal servants who are supposed to rescue him from a fate worse than death. I might be the villain. I’m in negotiations with Mojo,” she explained. 

Steve couldn’t quite take his eyes off Tony, who was parading around in his high heels. The dress clung to all sorts of interesting places on Tony and the neckline plunged low enough to reveal the tops of his very nice pecs. Steve’s face burned as he considered how amazing Tony looked. And why hadn’t he really noticed before?

“Fine, beats fighting random aliens in combat to the death -- but we get to go home at the end, right? No threats to Earth, that sort of thing?” 

“That’s the deal,” Natasha said. “But I don’t trust Mojo.”

“What do you think, Cap?” Sam asked. 

“Steve, it doesn’t seem to be a bad idea,” Tony said. Hulk and Thor nodded agreement.

“Okay, we’ll give it a try.”

~~~~~

If Steve were working for SHIELD, he thought, he would not be fighting bare-chested in an armored skirt to save Tony from Natasha for an alien television show set somewhere like the Savage Land. He didn’t think his short gladiator sword was the right weapon to fight dinosaurs.

Mojo had laughed at Steve’s consternation. “Just dinosaurs,” he giggled.

Sam, Clint and Steve were left to fight through the first few scenes. Which included a heap of dinosaurs. “I don’t feel right about this,” Sam said. “They didn’t ask for this.”

Clint nocked an arrow on his bow. “None of us asked for this. Too bad Thor isn’t here.”

“Thor and Hulk are fighting rock trolls later.” Steve gritted his teeth. He hated this. “We could walk through the herd to the other side. They don’t seem to have noticed us.”

“I like your optimism, Cap--” Clint started, just as a horn blew with an obnoxious blat. The once-peaceful dinosaurs turned baleful eyes on Steve, Clint, and Sam. “We’re on.”

“Right,” Steve replied. “Let’s do this.”

After several punched dinosaurs and a race for their lives, Steve and company had made it to the other side of the filming area. Steve stood tall and sweaty, trying to see if he could see Tony anywhere.

“This is totally unfair,” Clint said while massaging his arm. “You didn’t even break a sweat with the dinos and there you stand like a movie star.”

“Hey, guys, ready for a break?” Natasha asked. She stopped to check her clipboard.

“I thought you were the villain. What are you doing now?” Sam asked.

“Assistant producer. If I survive this filming, I’ll be promoted to associate.”

“Great -- I’d hold out for more vacation time if I were you, Tasha,” Clint said.

“I’ve been assigned to your production. I convinced Mojo that I could get you to follow the storyline.”

“We just spent two hours fighting dinosaurs,” Steve said. This was completely ridiculous for all possible definitions of ridiculous. “And where is Tony?”

“Oh, up there.” Natasha pointed to some windows high up on the wall. “He thinks we should get Steve to wear this outfit all the time.”

Steve looked down at the metal and leather studded skirt and the lace-up sandals and felt cold because of the rapidly cooling sweat on his back and chest. “No.”

~~~~~

At least Thor and Hulk had a blast during their afternoon of filming. They were devouring whatever what left on the buffet table. Clint was fixing his arrows while Sam buffed out nicks from his sword. If they had a television, it could easily have been an average day at the Tower.

Steve sat down carefully on a chair, completely aware that he could feel a breeze from his skirt. Their clothes had not been returned to them so they were stuck in their costumes. Tony sat nearby looking uncomfortable. “It’s the underwear,” he said.

“The underwear?” Steve asked, confused.

“Garter belt -- that sort of thing,” Tony said. “I think that Mojo was hoping for someone else to wear this get-up.” He gave Steve a critical look and a broad smile crossed his face. “Wait -- did they even give you underwear?”

He was really too old to be blushing furiously at Tony’s words. But something about Tony was heating his blood and turning his head and, damn, he didn’t want to be anywhere but right here talking to Tony and knocking knees as they tried to sit in their uncomfortable chairs.

“Mojo’s not playing straight with us,” Steve blurted in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

Tony patted Steve’s knee. “Don’t worry. Natasha has a plan.”

“You do?” Steve asked Natasha.

She never looked up from her tablet. “Yeah -- you kiss Tony to distract Mojo and we make a break for it.” Steve choked as Clint and Sam snickered.

“That’s the storyline,” Tony agreed. 

“You should practice,” Natasha added. “The more believable the better. That’s the only way we’re getting home.”

Steve’s stomach fell. He had only just realized that Tony was the most attractive person he knew, and he had had one stray thought already about what kissing Tony would be like. This was a bit too much. What if he was awful at kissing? It’s not like he had a lot of practice.

Tony laughed. “We’ll make it look good.” He winked at Steve.

Assuming he didn’t pass out first, Steve thought grimly.

~~~~~

The big break-for-freedom scene was to be filmed that afternoon. The Avengers were stationed at one end of the large unfinished arena with the teleporter home was on the other side. 

“That’s the way home,” Natasha said. She had changed into a generic guard uniform.

“This won’t be easy,” Tony warned. He pointed to the open gate guarded by the largest people Steve had ever seen. “And I’m running on coffee fumes.”

Steve surveyed the field. “I’m thinking we won’t need a complicated plan. Just hit until there’s no more people to hit.”

“That’s just ducky,” Clint said as Thor and Hulk cheered. Hulk and Thor were having the best time ever. At least some people were happy.

Clint asked, “Wait, when is Mojo filming?”

“They’re filming all the time,” Natasha said. 

Clint blanched. “Even in the bathroom?”

She patted his arm. “I doubt they’ll put that footage in the final cut.”

“It’s a fairytale with mixed martial arts,” Sam said. 

“I’m ready to smash,” Hulk said, pounding a fist into his palm.

“Widow, what’s the storyline?” Steve asked.

“Um, now that we’ve rescued Tony, we fight our way through our enemies, teleport back home, that sort of thing. And you declare your love for the space princess, preferably not while dripping in blood.” Natasha checked a folded piece of paper she pulled from her pocket. “Huh, those are the exact production notes.”

“Right. So that’s what we’ll give them.”

“What the hell, Steve?” Tony said. 

“We need Natasha to fix the teleporter so that we’re really going home, not to a holding cell somewhere. We’ll distract Mojo.”

“On it,” she replied. “See you later, guys.” She turned and disappeared down the hallway.

“We shall make our enemies wail and scream!” Thor announced, thumping Steve on his back.

“So just total mayhem from here to there?” Clint asked.

“That’s the plan,” Sam replied. He lift his fist for Clint to fist-bump him.

“It’s not going to be the same without Natasha,” Clint said. He shouldered his quiver.

Tony looked over at Steve. “You sure about this?”

Steve nodded. He had spent his childhood reading myths and fairytales and going to the movies. And he had studied men like Mojo during the war. He knew, sure as god made little green apples, that Mojo was planning to double cross them. “I’m sure.”

“I’m not talking about taking out the paid minions. I’m talking about the kiss.”

Ignoring Tony, Steve lifted his shield instead, and shouted, “Avengers Assemble!”

The team raced into the area. As soon as they hit the sand, Steve started swinging his sword. He didn’t mean for this to be a serious fight but Mojo’s actors fought more like an army than hired stuntmen.

Tony found a javelin and was doing his best to keep up with the rest of the team. Steve worried because this style of fighting was so far out of Tony’s wheelhouse. “How’re you doing?” he said as Tony beat back one of the minions.

“Hanging in there,” Tony said grimly, giving another actor a hefty kick. 

Steve smiled at him. Tony was still willing to fight armed with a javelin, a tiara and a rapidly deteriorating dress. “You look great.”

“I’m serious -- you need to wear that costume back home. Everyone will love Captain Gladiator.”

At last they reached the teleporter. Glancing over his shoulder, Steve saw more fighters piling in behind them. Natasha rappelled down the wall to join them. 

“Go, go, go!” Steve shouted. 

“We don’t have much time,” she said. “Kiss Tony while we escape.”

“What!” Tony said.

Steve gulped. He could see the film crew hovering at the edges of the arena and heard Mojo barking orders about the filming. “Right.”

It’s not lIke he didn’t want to kiss Tony; because he knew that he did. Tony looked gorgeous with the golden tiare askew in his dark hair and the dress that showed off his amazing legs. Steve hesitated.

“Kiss me,” Tony insisted. 

He pulled Tony into his arms and pecked Tony gently on the lips. It felt very nice --

“Give him a real kiss, Steve!” Clint shouted.

He looked over at an expectant Tony. He swallowed again and Tony grabbed his shoulders and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on Steve. Unthinking, Steve cupped the back of Tony’s head and deepened the kiss, feeling Tony’s lips curl into a smile. 

Best kiss ever.

Sam jumped into the teleporter field, followed by Clint, Thor and Hulk. Natasha poked Steve’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”

The teleporter field was visibly wobbling. And Steve could see Mojo and his army of assistants hovering just beyond the army descending on them. 

“Get them,” Mojo shouted. “They did something to the teleporter.”

Steve pushed Tony into the teleporter after Natasha. As he turned to leave, he heard Mojo wail. “Come back -- you were going to be my greatest star ever!!! Ratings are through the roof. We could do a sequel!”

Mercifully, the teleporter noise cut him off.

~~~~~

Much later back at the Tower, Steve ended up reading in the living room after everyone else had gone to bed. Even after a long hot shower and fantastic takeout, Steve didn’t feel ready for sleep. 

“Is this chair taken?” Tony asked as he sat down.

Steve smiled and shut his tablet. Tony’s hair looked soft and floppy over his forehead. Steve’s fingers itched to push the hair out of his eyes. “It’ll be a long time before I doubt Clint again,” he admitted.

“Yep, he called it about Mojo. But I’m here for other business -- what d’you think about going on a date? Just you and me and hopefully no supervillains.”

“I-- I’d like that.”

“Good -- we can plan our date tomorrow. And we’ll need to get in more kissing practice.”

“Kissing practice? I didn’t think I was that bad,” Steve pled in his defense. The tips of his ears reddened.

Tony kissed the tip of his nose. “Everyone needs practice -- besides, it’s fun.”

“You have a point.”

“And Steve? We need to talk about you getting into that gladiator outfit again.”

Steve laughed while Tony looked on fondly.


End file.
